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春: Me
Hmm, I thought I'd get my bottom half today since that was what the dentist said but it turns out that I didn't. Haha. Instead, I just got my braces tightened. Changed it from pink to red. Haha. Next appointment is.. 25 October. I just hope I get my bottom half before I go to Vietnam.
I really think I'm becoming quite a bookworm. Read too many books today. Well, books as in manga but yeah. Which reminds me. I should really re read my readers' cup books... HMMM... Screw it. Too much of a hassle. Haha. I'll probably do it if I have time. Read the books that is.
Any whooooo.... Sometimes... I really do wonder what do I even do with my life. I can't even cheer up the one I love. I actually think I can't do anything for Davi. Haha. I just feel worthless as hell. Haha. To be honest, I'm a bit hurt since... he isn't exactly replying. Haha. I just feel really really worthless. It's just that, whenever I'm upset or angry, he's there for me to rant. And I actually do feel better each time. But whenever he's like that... He hardly ever rants to me nowadays, and I want him to. Even if it hurts me, it just hurts even more that I'm not able to do anything. He's only replying when I'm asking him random questions, so we basically don't have a following conversation. Haha. I'm also just pretty much bringing up some memories that are suddenly popping in my head too, but there isn't really much of a reaction from that as well. There was one how we said we'd be each other's guide if we ever went to each other's city (this was before we got together so somewhere in February). Haha, Davi said that he doubts that he'll ever go to Brisbane. Because he doesn't want to and he probably won't be allowed to so there wasn't a point. The fact that he doesn't want to go Brisbane... Made me think of negative things. Haha. That hurt. A lot. I hate this bit about myself. I'm pained yet I know Davi's in more pain than me, that he's even more negative than me. I can't even do anything. I want to cheer him up but I'm scared. I don't know what to do. All these memories of where I hurt him, where I couldn't do anything, when he ignored me are pretty much just gushing in my head right now. And it hurts. So god damn much. My chest is pretty much feels as though it's starting to constrict. I'm starting to cry too. Haha... Oh for fuck sakes, I'm so weak. Even nightmares are enough to make me tear up. I'm just that weak...
I just hope... He gets better... I just hope... That one day... He'll be able to tell me anything... Even if it hurts me. Haha...
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春: Me
Hmm, I thought I'd get my bottom half today since that was what the dentist said but it turns out that I didn't. Haha. Instead, I just got my braces tightened. Changed it from pink to red. Haha. Next appointment is.. 25 October. I just hope I get my bottom half before I go to Vietnam.
I really think I'm becoming quite a bookworm. Read too many books today. Well, books as in manga but yeah. Which reminds me. I should really re read my readers' cup books... HMMM... Screw it. Too much of a hassle. Haha. I'll probably do it if I have time. Read the books that is.
Any whooooo.... Sometimes... I really do wonder what do I even do with my life. I can't even cheer up the one I love. I actually think I can't do anything for Davi. Haha. I just feel worthless as hell. Haha. To be honest, I'm a bit hurt since... he isn't exactly replying. Haha. I just feel really really worthless. It's just that, whenever I'm upset or angry, he's there for me to rant. And I actually do feel better each time. But whenever he's like that... He hardly ever rants to me nowadays, and I want him to. Even if it hurts me, it just hurts even more that I'm not able to do anything. He's only replying when I'm asking him random questions, so we basically don't have a following conversation. Haha. I'm also just pretty much bringing up some memories that are suddenly popping in my head too, but there isn't really much of a reaction from that as well. There was one how we said we'd be each other's guide if we ever went to each other's city (this was before we got together so somewhere in February). Haha, Davi said that he doubts that he'll ever go to Brisbane. Because he doesn't want to and he probably won't be allowed to so there wasn't a point. The fact that he doesn't want to go Brisbane... Made me think of negative things. Haha. That hurt. A lot. I hate this bit about myself. I'm pained yet I know Davi's in more pain than me, that he's even more negative than me. I can't even do anything. I want to cheer him up but I'm scared. I don't know what to do. All these memories of where I hurt him, where I couldn't do anything, when he ignored me are pretty much just gushing in my head right now. And it hurts. So god damn much. My chest is pretty much feels as though it's starting to constrict. I'm starting to cry too. Haha... Oh for fuck sakes, I'm so weak. Even nightmares are enough to make me tear up. I'm just that weak...
I just hope... He gets better... I just hope... That one day... He'll be able to tell me anything... Even if it hurts me. Haha...
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Name: Vivian
Occupation: Student
Currently: Dying
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