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â‚° Thinking Tuesday, 13 August 2013 | 0 comment[s] Is it bad... That everything... Still reminds me of Davison? Haha. Even though I feel as though I'm being neglected and hurt because... I haven't received a rely from him since he's either playing games or something but yeah... I've had this... Really painful thought and feeling... That he'll... Move on... Haha.. I really don't know why.. But i've had this feeling... For about three days and it just... Hurts so much.. Tearing up and trying so hard not to cry. Urgh, I don't even know why this thought won't disappear, especially when it's causing me so much despair. Yesterday... I couldn't even eat... I skipped breakfast, forced myself to eat at break and when i actually wanted to eat during dinner... I just wanted to throw up. During the SLP dance today... To be honest... I actually thought of Davison during the lesson. What would happen if he was my partner? I honestly... ended up imagining him half the time. Haha. During Japanese, I almost teared up. Teacher ended up using Sydney as an example and that also made me think of him as well. Haha. Maths, I just happened to look at the clock and bam. 12:30, the time he finishes school (even though he finishes at 12:20, corrected by the guy himself.). I just drowned myself in work during AMS and second lunch. But when I got on the bus, he just happened to come back into my mind again. Haha. Even when I was walking my siblings home. I was thinking about him. Yes, I know I'm just a love sick child but I can't exactly help it. I've fallen for this guy. So... This thought and feeling I've been having... It just causes me so much despair... Urgh, it hurts so god damn much. But yeah... I also found out that I've been swearing way too much nowadays. So I guess... From now on, I'm going to cut back on it. It's starting to become a frequent thing for me. Haha. I guess that's something weird with me, once iI start on something, I can't seem to stop unless I force myself to. haha. I remember in grade seven where I swore for the first time, yeah... I ended up swearing quite a lot afterwards. Had to force myself to stop. Haha. Sigh, yeah.. I'm not in the mood to blog anymore. I'm going to find something else to drown out my misery. Too much pain right now.. :/ With just one thought... Everything can shatter away.. |
