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冬 : Doctors Friday, 16 August 2013 | 0 comment[s] So, I went to the doctors today because I had these ulcers and cold sores. Both happened on the same day and they're such a pain man. Couldn't eat properly nor brush my teeth without feeling any pain. Hurt so much. Haha. So I went to the doctors today and... I received a cream for my cold sore and gel for my ulcers. The taste of the gel... Is gawd damn disgusting. Wasn't expecting it to be that disgusting but yeah. At least I can eat now. Haha. Well, I guess I'm happy... in a way. Haha. For the whole day today, I didn't swear. Yay. But, I've been restricting myself the whole time. But, I'm happy. Give me about two days or so and then I'll stop altogether... I hope. But seriously, I've grown so used to cussing now. Haha. I just want to say something that requires some cussing so yeah. Haha. Like, for surprise or astonishment, I'd go "Holy *insert cussing here*" and such. LOL. I don't know, trying so hard to. During second lunch, I was in the music room with Nina to finish our music assignment, where she was changing things and such. Oh wow, I just remembered I didn't get the final copy off her... AISH! Man, this is going to be a pain. Especially because I need to think of a melody. I still haven't thought of one either. Erk, not enough time. Because the final thing is due in two weeks time. Sigh, I swear I'm going to be so stressed by the end of this. Haha. But yeah, during that time. I just happened to re reading my conversation with Davison from two months ago. Part of a conversation that made me really happy and smile that I accidentally ignored her. Haha. Those were really happy memories, ones that I want back. Erk, okay. Now I'm starting to feel hurt right now. I'm sick of this. I don't want to be apart from him anymore. Freaking crying right now, because this emptiness I feel, every single day just hurts like hell. The emptiness I feel, from not being able to talk to him as much as I used to, not being able to do what I used to do, not being able to talk to him the way I want. Having to backspace, every time I end up typing what I called him. Having to act as though I don't have feelings for him anymore, so that when my parents read it they're actually convinced that we broke up... Urgh, I hate this so much. I just want him back already. I just want everything... To go back to what it used to be... Tearing up. This just hurts too much. I'm going. Actually, I stopped. Talking to Davison really does help me stop feeling so negative. Haha. "If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot pain," then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced." - Vincent Van Gogh |
