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â‚° Change Sunday, 11 August 2013 | 0 comment[s] Urgh... I feel so fucking... sfuhisudfhsa I just hate myself right now. I'm doing things... I would've never originally done, I'm doing things that I honestly regret. Like... Fuck.. I should have never tried to change myself, I shouldn't have even thought about it. Haha. Like, urgh. Ended up crying, because I was talking to Davison about it and the reason why I 'tried changing' was because I didn't want to hurt him anymore. And then we started talking about things... And I got scared. haha. "I liked the girl you were before. But now you've just changed." Yeah... I regret ever even trying to change. Because I hurt myself, I ended up crying and breaking down. (Sorry Suzanne. Tried to stop myself but I ended up breaking down before I even got in the showers. Haha.) Because... I'm honestly scared of losing his love. Haha, first love first crush. I know I'm just being a love sick person but I can't help it really. He was the one that was able to get me smiling GENUINELY, after so long. Haha. I just... Wish that things were back to how they were used to be... Where I was still together with him... I just fucking miss those times so god damn bad. I know he told me to be patient and wait since he's willing to wait for me, it's just that.. I'm not patient as to how I used to be... I'm just being selfish here so I'm going to shut up now. Haha. Sigh.
Shit, just realised I have Japanese homework and I've been doing my maths homework and procrastinating. Haha. Gawd damn it. Sigh. Going to get into crap for not doing my homework, haha. Might as well go do it now. Lmfao.
Everyone is a hypocrite in some sort of way.
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