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â‚° Useless Friday, 17 May 2013 | 0 comment[s] Yup, anothe depressing posts. Please refrain from reading if you don't want total depression. He's, I'm a depressed girl right now. So, once again. I hurt my friend. That one friend, who was always there for me. I hurt them. Now, I feel so fucking useless. Utterly, utterly useless. They were upset and angry before, but then because I suck at comfort, I didn't say anything for a hour. And then when I was about to say something, they replied in a way that got me upset, because the way they were typing.... I just knew. I just knew I got them upset. I just feel so, so useless. I'm crying. Yes, I'm fucking crying while typing this. I don't want to lose this person, they're the reason why I've been sleeping early, they're the reason why I ddnt get depressed as usual (because they're the one I rant to), they're pretty much the only reason why, I smile so much these days. It just hurts, knowing I'm the reason. And I don't want to lose them. I really, really don't. It just fucking hurts... I'll honestly admit, I'm scared. I'm scared of losing them, I don't want to lose someone so close and dear to me. Because really... I'm most likely going to be depressed and result to the one thing I thought is never do, self-harm. Yes, that person means so much to me. I'm just so upset right now... I can't even think straight. It just hurts so much, to think that I won't be able to be there for them, that they won't be there for me, that I really won't be able to change my life how it used to be. If I lost that precious friend... I'm probably never going to smile for the rest of the year. I don't want to lose them.... It hurts so freaking badly.... Okay, that's it. Nothing else to day, my heart hurts, my head hurts, my eye strings. All because I was crying. I'm not okay. I don't know anymorec I just don't want to lose them. Ever. Oh fuck it, still crying. I'm off now. Fuck. Bye. After creating so many memories of someone, it's hard to forget them... |
