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â‚° Lonely Thursday, 18 April 2013 | 0 comment[s] I'll admit. I feel as though I don't belong. I don't belong anywhere. Sometimes, I just feel as though everything is coloured, and I'm the one, in the corner dulling the photo. That I'm that gray-scaled thing in the corner. That I should be by myself. That I really am supposed to be alone. It doesn't help... That I feel as though I'm being ignored right now. I admit that it's my fault for not starting up the conversation but, I think that I shouldn't always be the one to try starting up the conversation... When someone stops talking to me for a long while I feel as though I did something wrong... That I did something bad... And yes, I'm feeling like that right now... Why. Ever since school started, I've been feeling so.... Sad? Depressed? Stressed? Annoyed? I don't even know. I just feel so negative... Now I just want to sleep all day or whatever. I don't want to do school, I don't want to do homework, I don't want assignments. Please, I have enough problems of hating myself. For being so weak, for not being able to brighten up my day, for looking even worse. Loc, I know you've been reading this... There's no need for you to tell me I look dead. Haha. I know I look dead... Hmm. Okay, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be thinking like this... It's been five days in a row... New record. If you don't see me at school tomorrow, don't concern yourself about it. I'm probably just off somewhere annoyed about myself... Hmm.. Probably hiding. I don't know. Most likely doing something to pass the time so that I don't cry. Haha. But yeah... Maths homework, delayed it for so long now. And then there are those assignments... I'm really going to end up breaking down again one day. I swear.. Well, yeah. I'll go do my homework now. Bye. Guys... Don't worry about me. It's a normal occurrence except just a tad worse nowadays. Haha. If I do... I'm sorry.. "The most painful feeling is knowing your existence is worthless." - Quoted from anime character, Haku of Naruto. |
