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â‚° Again Wednesday, 17 April 2013 | 0 comment[s] So this time, my dad goes off at me for not picking up the phone after calling me four times. It's not my fault I had to turn off my vibration so that my phone doesn't get confiscated. Blame the school for that. And it's also his fault for not telling me to go pick up my siblings after school. It's his freaking fault. Not... Not mine... Even though you tell me it's okay, I feel bad for indirectly ignoring you. So... I'm sorry.
And to make things worse... My friend, who was always there for me, I... I hurt them. I feel so stupid, so useless. For hurting that friend. I want to apologise, I want to say sorry but... I'm scared. I'm scared of what would happen. I'm sorry, typing this during school and I feel like crying. I feel as though I can't breathe. My chest is tightening, it hurts. And all of this is because of my fault. Hurting my friend, and being too scared of their reaction. All of it. My fault. Okay, I'm crying at school so. I'll stop and edit this when I get home. Not sure if you're this but... I... I'm sorry... Oh and, surprise call? Haha, Yeah. Umm. I just wanted to cheer you up somehow.
Well, yeah. had assignment due and was going to do it during breaks and all but... I felt too annoyed and saddened, because of what I did so I tried sleeping it off. Yes, Nelson, that was why I looked off. Haha, I think I kind of worried one of my friends though, told him to "Fuck off," when he tried to somewhat cheer me up. By telling one of my friends if I wanted a hug. And the person who he was going to ask was another guy but yeah.... I wasn't in the mood for it. Just wanted to sleep.I think I apparently worried for no reason. But still, I felt as though I did something bad... I really need to stop and think before I do anything worse. Haha. But umm. yeah. Dad's getting pissy again. Freaking. I'll go now. Bye. But either way, I really am embarrassed and shy to say it. But I hope that I'll be able to say it before we meet. I really do hope so. "There is nothing to fear except fear itself." - Quoted from the book, To Kill a Mocking Bird. |
