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â‚° Day Twenty Seven [II] Thursday, 7 March 2013 | 0 comment[s] The times when you were always by yourself, keeping everyone at bay, letting no one know you, always alone. The times, when you were that lonely primary student, in the corner of the library reading a book, or doing something that everyone would overlook. That your that one girl, where no one really noticed. Only slowly starting to open up with people at the end of primary, but then again. You only opened up with the grades younger than you. You knew the people in your grade but the rest only knew your name unless they were in the same class as you. But either way, they'd just think you're a quiet, nerdy and teacher's pet student. But then high school came. First day, all alone. Second day, quietly walked around before following a friend from a tutor after like two years. There you just quietly watched and observed. No one really noticed you, the same thing happening in primary. You felt as though you were a ghost, just that human where no one really noticed. Even the teachers, they too overlooked you. And then, you feel as though everything's over, family drama begins. After years of patience, you finally break down for the first time. But then, you slowly open. Just a little bit. But you still keep everyone a hand length away. And then just when everything was going to be okay. More drama come up. The hooking up, the pairings. You thought things would've changed since primary but they didn't. When the times you mistake crushes as a friendly thing, that yearning for a friend. People mistook it and tried to pair you up. And when it goes out of hand, you end up losing a friend. For half a year, your friend ignores you, not even willing to look you in the eye. The pain of losing a friend hurt. But you still dealt with it as though it was all fine. At the end of the year, only then your friend starts to talk to you again. Two years later. Things are the same. Barely anything had changed. You know people but they don't know you. The teachers still overlook you. You still feel as though you're just an unwanted company, that annoying pest of a ghost. The only things that have changed is that you've actually have friends, that there was someone who you actually really cared about. That after fifteen years of confusion, not knowing what it was, why people become stupid, why others get heartbroken. You finally know why and what love is. What if, that person, that person who went all of that. What if she was still keeping at everyone at bay. Because that person, is still keeping everyone at bay. Everyone but a few. Because those few people are the only one she can fully trust. Okay. I'm done with my so called life story. Haha. Everything's sorted out. And I'm happy. Really happy. Just that you won't see it. Hehe. Meeeeeeh. Others probably would notice. But, I'm typing this in school so I'm ending it. Haha. Good bye~ Just let time and honesty do its work. Thank you, aishiteru. :3 |
