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â‚° Stress Saturday, 29 December 2012 | 0 comment[s] Okay, stress is really coming to its peak. And so is frustration. Oh please. "I'm doing this for your sake." Seriously? To me it seems like you don't want me embarrassing you. My aunt today looked at me and said that I need to lay off the snacks and that I need to work it off - my fat that is. But hey? It's not like I have feelings or anything. Just do whatever and I won't care. Tch. These holidays.. Even though they were supposed to e the best ones, are slowly starting to become like crap. All the pressure my aunt and my parents are putting on me is tremendous. Argh. So many times, I wonder why I even bother living? Why was I born? Am I just the experimental child? So many times, I felt like nothing. So many times, I felt like hollow. Like there was no point in me living. So many times, I felt as though I've been nothing but bad luck, that nothing ever stays the way I want it to. That nothing was ever meant to be the way I want it to. The times when I've been asked or request for assistance... Do the not consider how I feel and continue wih their selfish request? Just because I'm the 'devil' or the cloud guardian doesn't mean I don't have feelings... So many times... I want to be swallowed up by the ground and just disappear off the face of the earth... So many times... Where I have to hold in my tears while letting it eat me just to show that I was strong. Strong enough to endure all of this for so long... Strong enough to endure the verbal abuse that my dad puts me through and that if I ever talk back to him... He'll just threaten me with a knife gain... Haha... I have such a fun life... I know there are others that have it worse than I do but I'm sorry. I don't think I can out up with it anymore. With my relatives and my parents calling me fat. For a girl, that's really mentally traumatising. Good news? I really don't have any. Bad news? I have more. Little sister broke my necklace which I've won for almost a year now. You do not know how low my voice was. I think it scared my little brother... Haha, I guess I am scary after all. Now if you let me be, I shall go cry myself to sleep. (... Maybe) After that depressing paragraph. We can only take the pain for so long... |
