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So when I woke up and checked my messages, I saw a couple from Davison explaining why he wanted to end it. Could've told me that a whole load earlier so that he didn't have to put up with me. He wouldn't have had to deal with all the shit I've given him too. Honestly, if he told me that being with me was painful then I would've gladly let him go. But now, since he doesn't care anymore, I'm just tired. After having my heart broken about five times, and still I tried to mend the relationship, I honestly just got pissed off when he told me he didn't care. I was pissed, hurt and sad. 

Just then, I find out that either he has removed himself from my buddy list by going onto my account or he has removed me from his. And that. Just fucking pissed me off. Here I was, hoping we could still be friends but it would look like he's literally removing me from his life. Or he's trying to remove himself from mine. I don't know but I just got so pissed at that. == It's like he doesn't even want me to remember that he exists. I'm probably interpreting things differently but I'm assuming, he either doesn't want to acknowledge what we had anymore or he just wants to forget me forever. And that hurts like hell. I just wanted us to continue being friends but if he doesn't want to then fine by me. 

So I pretty much spent the day drowning the feeling with school work. It's working. Just, it's difficult when I wake up and sleep. I still think about him even then. It doesn't help since I still have dreams about him too. Sigh. I really enjoyed the 17 months we had together but after everything he's done, I'm starting to feel that it was just a mirage. It hurts like hell that he's trying to make it seem as though nothing happened. Sigh. 

So when I woke up and checked my messages, I saw a couple from Davison explaining why he wanted to end it. Could've told me that a whole load earlier so that he didn't have to put up with me. He wouldn't have had to deal with all the shit I've given him too. Honestly, if he told me that being with me was painful then I would've gladly let him go. But now, since he doesn't care anymore, I'm just tired. After having my heart broken about five times, and still I tried to mend the relationship, I honestly just got pissed off when he told me he didn't care. I was pissed, hurt and sad. 

Just then, I find out that either he has removed himself from my buddy list by going onto my account or he has removed me from his. And that. Just fucking pissed me off. Here I was, hoping we could still be friends but it would look like he's literally removing me from his life. Or he's trying to remove himself from mine. I don't know but I just got so pissed at that. == It's like he doesn't even want me to remember that he exists. I'm probably interpreting things differently but I'm assuming, he either doesn't want to acknowledge what we had anymore or he just wants to forget me forever. And that hurts like hell. I just wanted us to continue being friends but if he doesn't want to then fine by me. 

So I pretty much spent the day drowning the feeling with school work. It's working. Just, it's difficult when I wake up and sleep. I still think about him even then. It doesn't help since I still have dreams about him too. Sigh. I really enjoyed the 17 months we had together but after everything he's done, I'm starting to feel that it was just a mirage. It hurts like hell that he's trying to make it seem as though nothing happened. Sigh.