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春: Unforgiving Saturday, 14 September 2013 | 0 comment[s] Hmm... I'd be lying if I said I was alright. Haha. Davison... Hasn't forgiven me yet and for the first two hours... Where I tried talking to him... He... Didn't exactly talk to me at all... Haha. Hmm... Just when we were starting to talk like normal.. I feel as though something's wrong again and he... stopped talking to me... Haha. But then again, probably just me and my selfish want. I don't even know anymore... I honestly... Feel hollow to be honest. I just feel really empty, when I don't talk to him. When I'm at home, the loneliness that I feel intensifies. When I'm at school, it's temporary replaced through friends and laughter. Nowadays, the only way I'm managing to go through the day with a smile, a smile that's often masked with unbearable pain, is through the only connection I have with him right now. The necklace that I wear. That's the reason why... When the teacher threatened to take it... I just almost lost it. Am I really that weak...? And... Now... I just feel as though he doesn't want to talk to me altogether. Oh for fuck sakes. WHY. WHY do I kill myself like this. I want to cry. Yeah, I'm tearing up, my chest... Is starting to constrict with all these negative thoughts that are coming in. I want to climb into bed... And cry myself to sleep again... Well, I was told by my piano teacher that I should wear the dress I wore last week since he wants to take a photo of me and use it to advertise the school. LOL. APPARENTLY, I HAVE A GOOD FIGURE. LIKE WHAT THE HELL, I DO NOT HAVE A GOOD FIGURE. I'm fat af man. LOL. I don't know, but yeah.. Personally I think it's because I have a straight back. Lmfao. I dunno. Vietnamese school, I'm probably going to wear something with jeans because... wearing a dress to some party thing at school.. Isn't exactly a good idea. LMFAO. Because apparently, the teacher wants me to bring some sort of flower or something pretty so that I can do it with my hair or something. Since like, he wants me to look pretty for the photo. HAHAHA. He even wants me to do something pretty with my hair as well. Welp, I had Theresa do my hair last time since she wanted to do it - she wanted to fish braid it so yeah. I don't know what to do with my hair in all honesty. HAHAHAHA. Sigh. Yeah, I'm actually feeling better because in the last half a hour... Davison is actually talking to me again. Yes, I know. I'm just... "Too in love" with this guy, I've fallen too deep for him, I guess. Haha. I can't help it. If we were still together. Tomorrow would've been our half way mark to seven months. Is it bad, that I'm still counting even though we're not together anymore? Whoops, mum said five minutes. I've been on for more than ten minutes already. HAHAHAHA. I can't help it, I'm just pretty much having too much fun talking to Davison at the moment. Dressing him up as a girl. HAHAHAHAHA. He'd probably kill me though if I did do that. HAHAHAHA :3 Yup, time to go. Don't want mum raging at me now. Have a busy day tomorrow, going to a friend's place to do my English assignment after going to Nina's house to do half of the music assignment. LMFAO. What fun. But hey, at least I got her to do half of her assignment so that's all good. LOLOL. But yeah. Busy busy busy. "Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be." - Grandma Moses P.S: Annie, the only reason why I feel as though I shouldn't rant to people, is because I'd feel as though I'm a nuisance to them. That's all. Only when I'm desperate and that upset, is when I do it. Haha. |
